Chapter 2
IIM, First Day
The way to lecture theatres was blocked by some MBA jargons creators, the entry pass was a simple intro. The format; Name, Place, Mr Winky’s length.
“Welcome guys, we are doing a management study about diminishing role of condoms in India. World Health Organisation (WHO) says the average Indian winky is smaller than the average world’s winky. The condoms manufactured as per international standards are not suitable for Indian packages. Our packages. Result, Indian men don’t prefer to use covers. This management study is conducted to validate that we need a made in India cover for made in India Indians just like fairness creams. So kindly cooperate.” And the intro begun:
“Kshitiz Awasthi, Dehradoon, 5.” A smirk of indifference.
“Varun Sharma, Delhi, 5.” A stare of apathy.
“Anil Agarwal, Ranchi, 4.” A pinch of embarrassment.
“Sumit Chaturvedi, Noida, 6.” A proud declaration.
Arnav was late. First day and he was late. Running, he jumped the queue. Some voices protested meekly but everyone else was more or less happy to send someone else first.
“Venkat Reddy, Hyderabad, 5.” A tense confession.
Arnav was next.
“Arnav Kapoor, Mumbai, 12.” A hurried intro.
Flutes droned the surroundings. The papers ruffled once and for all. The breeze stopped. Guys in the corridor stopped dead like clocks out of battery. The sweeper stumbled on his broom. The birds fluttered mightily to leave their nest. The dogs huffed and puffed to vacate the college premise with their better halves. The time pieces banged twelve times to mark the occasion. The data entry guy along with his gang looked up.
“What?”
“Arnav Kapoor, Mumbai, 12. Can I go now?”
“Mumbai? India’s Mumbai? Capital of Maharashtra?”
“Yes, same place. Can I go?”
“Yeah,” he stared at his pair of jeans.
“Thanks.”
“Straight and then second right, dead end.” The peon showed him the way.
Room number twelve. Lecture theatre. The faculty wasn’t there but the students were and Arnav was technically on time.
Only two vacant seats. Options.
Second row, second column. A guy munching a burger. Mustard colouring his tee.
Third row, first column. A girl busy with her purse. Hairs hiding her face. Table hiding her figure.
Decision. A no brainer.
“Hello.” A professor entered in the lecture theatre.
Arnav moved and occupied the seat. The girl looked up in time.
“YOU?” Arnav got the shock of his life.
“YOU?” the girl too.
“Any Problem?” the professor asked.
“No, sir,” the girl replied first.
“Yes sir,” Arnav too.
When they were five years old
“Hi.”
“Hi.”
“I am Maya.”
“Arnav.” They were in the garden.
“Your eyes are brown. How?” Maya was curious. You know how kids are.
“My mom’s eyes are brown.” Arnav was cute in his answer.
“Can you kiss me?” Maya asked another question. You know how kids ask questions about everything.
“No.”
“Why?”
“It is not good.”
“Who told you?”
“Vineet. He says that first people kiss and then they get pregnant. I don’t want to get pregnant.” Arnav knew the secret. You know how kids know all the secrets.
“Who is Vineet?”
“He is my best friend. He always comes first in class. He knows everything.”
“Liar, he is.”
“No, he is not.” Arnav was offended. Even his nostrils flared for whole thirty seconds.
“Has Vineet seen any girl’s undies?”
“I don’t know.” Arnav was surprised. Even his eyes doubled in size.
“If you kiss me, I will show you mine, it has Tom and Jerry on it.”
Arnav thought for few moments and then for some moments more. He had to. A tough decision even for him. His eyes squinted to their minimum, it was a high risk game but so were the rewards.
“Kiss, where?”
“Lips.”
“No.”
“Okay, here,” she pointed at her right cheek.
“Show me that first.”
“No, first we will kiss then I will show.”
“Okay,” his eyes closed. Lips curled. Body leaning forward.
She waited. Some more. Then some more.
Ten centimetres, seven, five, three, two, one. Her head turned and their lips met for a feathery second.
“You cheated,” He opened his eyes, disgust on his face. Fear too.
“No, I did not.”
“MAYAAAAAAAAAA,” a female voice, from the house.
“My Mom is calling, bye.”
“But...”
“But, what?”
“You said, you will show that.”
“I lied, okay. Go and tell your mom.”
“You are a cheater.”
“You already said so.”
“I don’t know any other bad words. Mummy says it’s bad.”
“Then ask Vineet.”
“I should have listened to him. Now I am going to get pregnant.”
“No, you won’t.”
“You are a liar.”
“Okay then, wait and see for yourself...bye.”
When they were thirteen
“Maya, why are we sitting here?”
“Because Arnav...you are the mother of my child.”
“I was a kid then.” He frowned.
“You still are. You know this. I know this. Everyone knows this. Tomorrow I am flying to USA for two years and then I don’t know where? The fact is still that you are the only guy I have known for so long and I am the only girl who ever talked to you.”
“That’s not true.”
“Punctured male ego. Whatever.” Maya chided. You know how teens chide.
“So what are we doing here?”
“I don’t know. I just felt like sitting with you for a while.”
“You are weird,” he stated.
“I am weird.”
“That’s what I said.”
“I know.”
“I am weird too.”
“Yeah right,” she snorted. “Everyone loves you, your dad is some famous scientist and your mom is a regular on page three.”
“My parents are getting divorced and I am going to a boarding school.”
“Are you crying?”
“No, not at all,” he sobbed silently. Face to the other side.
She shifted closer, put her right hand on his back almost touching it but not exactly resting on it.
“Look, I am not good at these things. But I believe that the things they write in books about love are not entirely bullshit. There must be some sense in them.”
“You think so?”
“Yeah,” she replied reluctantly. You know how teens respond at such questions.
He looked at her. She was looking straight, not at him, at some tree or may be at some other tree.
Calm. Silence. Quiet.
“Can I finger you?” He broke it. You know how teens want to try things.
She kept looking at some tree or may be at some other tree. “Ummm...no,” she calmly replied.
“Okay,” his eyes searched that some tree or may be that some other tree.
When they were eighteen
First day in college, first day of freedom. Hostel life, again. Hot girls. Especially girls. Ragging. Arnav was scared and excited both at the same time.
“Oye, fachche.”
He ignored the first call.
“Oye, Green shirt.”
He ignored the second call. His shirt wasn’t green. It was lemon green.
The third call was felt by his shirt itself. A hand grabbed his collar from behind his back.
“Prince charming, your daddy is sitting here and you ignored him.” Another senior slammed him.
“Sorry bro.”
“Bro?”
But he wasn’t listening. His eyes were fixed on a familiar face in the crowd.
“Maya!” he exclaimed. “MAYA.” he shouted.
She turned and gave him an ugly look and so did his boyfriend.
He ran. Seconds later, he was in front of her. Half bent, hands on his knees, panting hard, his collar buttons hanging loose.
“You know him,” her chiselled boyfriend asked.
“Yes...,” she replied.
His hopes swelled. She remembered him after all these years.
“...he was the guy who tried to finger me,” she completed her sentence.
And everything went blank. When Arnav woke up, he still had two eyes but one was inside a black hole which made him look an asshole.
BUY THE BOOK
The way to lecture theatres was blocked by some MBA jargons creators, the entry pass was a simple intro. The format; Name, Place, Mr Winky’s length.
“Welcome guys, we are doing a management study about diminishing role of condoms in India. World Health Organisation (WHO) says the average Indian winky is smaller than the average world’s winky. The condoms manufactured as per international standards are not suitable for Indian packages. Our packages. Result, Indian men don’t prefer to use covers. This management study is conducted to validate that we need a made in India cover for made in India Indians just like fairness creams. So kindly cooperate.” And the intro begun:
“Kshitiz Awasthi, Dehradoon, 5.” A smirk of indifference.
“Varun Sharma, Delhi, 5.” A stare of apathy.
“Anil Agarwal, Ranchi, 4.” A pinch of embarrassment.
“Sumit Chaturvedi, Noida, 6.” A proud declaration.
Arnav was late. First day and he was late. Running, he jumped the queue. Some voices protested meekly but everyone else was more or less happy to send someone else first.
“Venkat Reddy, Hyderabad, 5.” A tense confession.
Arnav was next.
“Arnav Kapoor, Mumbai, 12.” A hurried intro.
Flutes droned the surroundings. The papers ruffled once and for all. The breeze stopped. Guys in the corridor stopped dead like clocks out of battery. The sweeper stumbled on his broom. The birds fluttered mightily to leave their nest. The dogs huffed and puffed to vacate the college premise with their better halves. The time pieces banged twelve times to mark the occasion. The data entry guy along with his gang looked up.
“What?”
“Arnav Kapoor, Mumbai, 12. Can I go now?”
“Mumbai? India’s Mumbai? Capital of Maharashtra?”
“Yes, same place. Can I go?”
“Yeah,” he stared at his pair of jeans.
“Thanks.”
“Straight and then second right, dead end.” The peon showed him the way.
Room number twelve. Lecture theatre. The faculty wasn’t there but the students were and Arnav was technically on time.
Only two vacant seats. Options.
Second row, second column. A guy munching a burger. Mustard colouring his tee.
Third row, first column. A girl busy with her purse. Hairs hiding her face. Table hiding her figure.
Decision. A no brainer.
“Hello.” A professor entered in the lecture theatre.
Arnav moved and occupied the seat. The girl looked up in time.
“YOU?” Arnav got the shock of his life.
“YOU?” the girl too.
“Any Problem?” the professor asked.
“No, sir,” the girl replied first.
“Yes sir,” Arnav too.
When they were five years old
“Hi.”
“Hi.”
“I am Maya.”
“Arnav.” They were in the garden.
“Your eyes are brown. How?” Maya was curious. You know how kids are.
“My mom’s eyes are brown.” Arnav was cute in his answer.
“Can you kiss me?” Maya asked another question. You know how kids ask questions about everything.
“No.”
“Why?”
“It is not good.”
“Who told you?”
“Vineet. He says that first people kiss and then they get pregnant. I don’t want to get pregnant.” Arnav knew the secret. You know how kids know all the secrets.
“Who is Vineet?”
“He is my best friend. He always comes first in class. He knows everything.”
“Liar, he is.”
“No, he is not.” Arnav was offended. Even his nostrils flared for whole thirty seconds.
“Has Vineet seen any girl’s undies?”
“I don’t know.” Arnav was surprised. Even his eyes doubled in size.
“If you kiss me, I will show you mine, it has Tom and Jerry on it.”
Arnav thought for few moments and then for some moments more. He had to. A tough decision even for him. His eyes squinted to their minimum, it was a high risk game but so were the rewards.
“Kiss, where?”
“Lips.”
“No.”
“Okay, here,” she pointed at her right cheek.
“Show me that first.”
“No, first we will kiss then I will show.”
“Okay,” his eyes closed. Lips curled. Body leaning forward.
She waited. Some more. Then some more.
Ten centimetres, seven, five, three, two, one. Her head turned and their lips met for a feathery second.
“You cheated,” He opened his eyes, disgust on his face. Fear too.
“No, I did not.”
“MAYAAAAAAAAAA,” a female voice, from the house.
“My Mom is calling, bye.”
“But...”
“But, what?”
“You said, you will show that.”
“I lied, okay. Go and tell your mom.”
“You are a cheater.”
“You already said so.”
“I don’t know any other bad words. Mummy says it’s bad.”
“Then ask Vineet.”
“I should have listened to him. Now I am going to get pregnant.”
“No, you won’t.”
“You are a liar.”
“Okay then, wait and see for yourself...bye.”
When they were thirteen
“Maya, why are we sitting here?”
“Because Arnav...you are the mother of my child.”
“I was a kid then.” He frowned.
“You still are. You know this. I know this. Everyone knows this. Tomorrow I am flying to USA for two years and then I don’t know where? The fact is still that you are the only guy I have known for so long and I am the only girl who ever talked to you.”
“That’s not true.”
“Punctured male ego. Whatever.” Maya chided. You know how teens chide.
“So what are we doing here?”
“I don’t know. I just felt like sitting with you for a while.”
“You are weird,” he stated.
“I am weird.”
“That’s what I said.”
“I know.”
“I am weird too.”
“Yeah right,” she snorted. “Everyone loves you, your dad is some famous scientist and your mom is a regular on page three.”
“My parents are getting divorced and I am going to a boarding school.”
“Are you crying?”
“No, not at all,” he sobbed silently. Face to the other side.
She shifted closer, put her right hand on his back almost touching it but not exactly resting on it.
“Look, I am not good at these things. But I believe that the things they write in books about love are not entirely bullshit. There must be some sense in them.”
“You think so?”
“Yeah,” she replied reluctantly. You know how teens respond at such questions.
He looked at her. She was looking straight, not at him, at some tree or may be at some other tree.
Calm. Silence. Quiet.
“Can I finger you?” He broke it. You know how teens want to try things.
She kept looking at some tree or may be at some other tree. “Ummm...no,” she calmly replied.
“Okay,” his eyes searched that some tree or may be that some other tree.
When they were eighteen
First day in college, first day of freedom. Hostel life, again. Hot girls. Especially girls. Ragging. Arnav was scared and excited both at the same time.
“Oye, fachche.”
He ignored the first call.
“Oye, Green shirt.”
He ignored the second call. His shirt wasn’t green. It was lemon green.
The third call was felt by his shirt itself. A hand grabbed his collar from behind his back.
“Prince charming, your daddy is sitting here and you ignored him.” Another senior slammed him.
“Sorry bro.”
“Bro?”
But he wasn’t listening. His eyes were fixed on a familiar face in the crowd.
“Maya!” he exclaimed. “MAYA.” he shouted.
She turned and gave him an ugly look and so did his boyfriend.
He ran. Seconds later, he was in front of her. Half bent, hands on his knees, panting hard, his collar buttons hanging loose.
“You know him,” her chiselled boyfriend asked.
“Yes...,” she replied.
His hopes swelled. She remembered him after all these years.
“...he was the guy who tried to finger me,” she completed her sentence.
And everything went blank. When Arnav woke up, he still had two eyes but one was inside a black hole which made him look an asshole.
BUY THE BOOK
